The sky was moonless. The familiar figures of rabbits pounding rice cakes she could faintly remember from her childhood were not in the sky tonight. There was no light save for the faint pale yellow glow of streetlamps outside her room. Tonight she sat still, human, feeling more comfortable in that form rather than that of the rabbit she was at any other time.

In this form, the young girl felt more alive and yet more dead. Sixteen was a tempestuous age. As she sat near the windowsill, she could make out the feeling of her heartbeat– slow and calm. All was quiet except for that little drum in her chest. And all at once, she felt a lump in her throat and a coldness that chilled her skin even in the warmth of a tropical night.


She wanted to rip the little drum from her chest and ask it “Why? Why do you make me feel so unsure when I have been so sure before?” She was nervous in her hesitation. Afraid of what could happen when she and Lobo would finally meet, as if he could kill her without even the least bit of effort. And although she did feel longing propelling the pain, she also felt the urge to step backwards like any prey would in the face of a predator.


“Why does it hurt?” She curled up tighter, without the comfort of her fur to buffer the resonating beats of her heart or the coldness of emotions she could not place into words. No matter the pain, though, she wanted to feel it, as if the ache was something necessary and natural.

But tonight there were no answers to her questions and her chest ached even more. And she began to cry. The sky was moonless. The stars were eclipsed by the city lights beyond the confines of her room. Sixteen wasn’t as sweet as they said it was.



2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Samara
    Dec 13, 2010 @ 04:49:46

    I saw a picture of your Amami Ichiko, and I was in love with her long, pink wig. Which company makes this wig?! I musssst buy one.


    • Clockwork Juice
      Jan 30, 2011 @ 04:52:14

      I’m sorry it took me such a long time to reply! Actually, I don’t remember what company made her long pink wig 😦 I bought it from a friend of mine which he only described as a “Pink wig”.


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